Drag Queen Rocky?

If you know me, you might know this story.
So back in college, I had this boyfriend. He looked like Sylvester Stallone, and he was a competitive bodybuilder. Shaved his body and oiled it up and everything.

And for about three months, he was the picture of dedication. If I hadn't actually been dating him, he probably would've qualified as a stalker -- that's how out-of-proportion his devotion seemed to me. But since I'd been a wall flower in high school, I was rather eating up all this attention.

Then one day his love just stopped like a cheap watch. The man who was always there was suddenly not. What happened? It was hard to say, because he avoided me in person and on the phone.

Finally he agreed to talk to me and explain what had happened. (By this time I knew it was over, and all I was asking for was an explanation.) So he gave it to me straight up. Ready? He broke up with me because, and I quote, "I can tell you're going to be one of those girls who gets married and then lets herself go." (Meaning, "gains a lot of weight.")

Anyway, I did a little storyboard adaptation about this recently, which sent me looking for photo references of Sylvester Stallone. And then, because I do almost no PhotoShop painting, I decided to practice a bit of that, and I did this portrait of Sly, and then I did some weird filter thing on it and it came out like this. It's almost cheesy enough for black velvet, don't you think? But one of the weird things about it is that Sly here looks ever-so-slightly drag queeny. And though I've never had anything against Stallone, apart from his resemblance to my heartbreaking college boyfriend, I admit to taking a bit of pleasure out of that.

So there you are. I'll try to post something worthier, artwise, soon. But I thought you'd get a kick out of this.