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Tuesday, January 25, 2011

What Is It Like?



True story: For years, I had this recurring dream that I went back to college. Note that this is not The Test Dream, which I've also had. This was a recurring dream about yearning to go back to college so I could learn again, in that schooled way. In my dream, I literally was going AWAY to college, and there was always this question of what to do with the kids, who were unlikely to be able to live in a dorm room with me.

Anyway, as you know, I eventually stopped dreaming and went to college, though from the comfort of my own home. (Family problem: Solved!)

So what is it like, you might wonder, to go re-do in the middle of life what you once did, only with a middle-aged body?

Well, sometimes it feels like covering miles over a marathon race course. I try to squirrel away energy for times I will need it. I try to think only in terms of the next few days, and block in time to get things done for the week. There is a chaos to school life, an overtaking nature that I either forgot about or that never affected me the first time around. School work encroaches at odd hours. Not in unpleasant ways, but just in unpredictable ways.

Anyway, here's a little drawing that should be something I did in my sketchbook, except that my sketchbook, per se, has been weirdly neglected lately as other drawing and projects have overcome things. In the bowl is beef stew that I made specifically so I could draw it. And I did not drink the wine. I left that to Carlo.

1 comment:

Kay said...

your dream came true. I never actually dreamed of going back to school..but one day after the boys were grown..I decided to be selfish and investigate the possibility of finishing my degree. It sort of snowballed from there. At age 53 after 33 1/2 yrs. since being in school (word to the wise..don't wait past 20 yrs. they make you take everything over!) I returned to school. It seemed triumphant for me. All the fears I manufactured never came true. I aced everything. I was on the dean's list the whole time. Such a rewarding and enriching experience compared to the aimlessness of my attempts at the tender age of 17-19. Best decision ever. I miss it now and am actually contemplating grad school..why not?
Your description is apt. It really takes you out of your comfort zone and places you in a higher state of mind and will. Wish though that I could keep that up..